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|vegan & omni sexual encounters! (eewww. I know I know.)
Posted By C
O.k., folks, here's a kind of weird one ... How does a 30-yr. vegetarian who's come over(finally!) to the vegan side of things over the past three years explain to her still somewhat omni but-strongly-leaning-towards-vegetarian boyfriend that she thinks his ejaculations are full of gross dietary byproducts? Sorry to pose such a crude one, but guessing there are probably other vegans who are totally turned off by their non-vegan partner's non-veg. matter derived bodily excretions. The best answer I've come up with is to just not engage sexually. I'm not really looking for a super serious answer to this one, of course, maybe just a few funny comebacks. But any ideas or resources for navigating our tricky-sticky dilemma are appreciated. Best Regards, C.C.
Oh, C. Thank you for raising (or lowering?) the level of discussion around the issue of being in relationship with people who don't see eye to eye with you in terms of lifestyle and ethics. Seriously, though, this is an issue that so many people can identify with. Thanks for breaching this tricky (and sticky--eep!) but important topic.
You may be glad to know that according to a 2007 study in New Zealand, most vegans, especially women, are grossed out by sex with meat eaters. As a result of this phenomenon, the term "vegansexual" has now made its way into the Urban Dictionary.
In the discussion, there tends to be a focus on what you term "non-veg. matter derived bodily secretions," but I wonder how much of it is really about what he's spewing from his body vs. what he's spewing from his brain. In other words, is this about his ejaculate or his ethics? If the former, I'd ask yourself if there are certain sexual activities that are acceptable that don't involve his by-products. In that case, I'd be clear to him about what those are and explain why. But if it's more about the ethics, well that's an issue that penetrates deeper, of course (ok, is that punny or just too graphic?) Unfortunately, your current solution to "not engage sexually" might be considered inhumane...to him and to you...and could therefore not be considered cruelty-free or vegan. ;-)
In short, I think you need to decide for yourself if this is a deal-breaker, in which case he needs to know sooner rather than later. If not, see if you can find a middle ground--maybe a 24-hour meat-free window before your own byproducts are exchanged. Maybe you can entice him with a lettuce lady bikini so that he'll be trained to equate greens with Sexy Time? I can't think of a more persuasive motivator to go veg (in the short term, anyway,) than sex.
I'll toss this out to the Cheering Section, which we will temporarily rename the Leering Section, and see what others have to say.
Thanks for bringing it up!
Posted By Admin